New caterpillar

Mood: Anxious to start anew 

Current song: Make ____ sure (in the space insert cuss word) by taking back sunday

Im havin a good life right now i suppose. My grades were horrible and blankie is always sad with me but ... i cant wait to start doing good in school. like so ready to put my plan into action to do good with my grades. all i want is my moms approval. :) this should be fun :D !!! haha like i cant WAAAIIITTT were in the second nine weeks at my school gravvv. I actually started texting my friend zorc we didnt text that much XD. me and mommy are closer than EVERRRR :) hahaha i visited my cousin in a state that shall be left nameless :) hahaha he was fun i didnt think he was until i went there XD hahaha man was i wrong haha all these years and he turns out to be one coolio childddd !!! haha
it was fun to write my english narrative like idk really i just had alot of fun even though i didnt read mine in class cause i was scared of what everyone was gonna think i just let people read it when they wanted :D ! and people told me i was a good writer. i had to end it short though so the ending was really choppy D: !!! but it all turned out fine ... 
my fish elmay died (she was blue) :'( i know its just a fish but i had her for a whole year and i loved her :C i got a new fish named pyramus (he was red) ... but he died too :C i didnt love him too much cause i only had him a month :/ i have a new fish today :D !!!! i hope he survives ... his name is jesus (hes white) haha that wasnt meant to be racist :D 
so i was watching two of my most favorited movies everrrrr :3 so i thought HEY i could share it with every one ... but just to clarify .. they are sad movies and include some language and violence ... well one has violence the other is SOUPER sad :C !!!! i cry everytime :/ 


Man on fire - This movie is the one with violence and cussing nonstop but it is a true story 


I am Sam - This is the movie that makes me cry EVERY STINKIN TIME !!! but its so heart breaking and it is a true story as well

my calendar still says october even though its november !!! i should change it but i wont cause i wanna leave it like that till i absolutely need it

And remember love is just a serail killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella 

Theres never a perfect day

Mood: Anxiously excited with a twang of sadness in the pit of my core :/ :3

Current Song: All i see -Lydia

sigh* and the sad thing is its only been a day u.u
our school (GRAVVV) is out for a whole week due to fall break :) its pretty nice since i was startig to get in over my head with school work and i do need to catch up so the break is welcomed ... but i miss blankie oh so very much, everything reminds me of him. its horrible how much i rely on him for my own happiness ... i need a life too bad he is mine :P
So you know what .... i truelly dislike when he (blankie) reads me so refinely XD like i can say that im fine and he already knows that im not or i could say one thing and want him to do another and he'll know what i want its unfair that he can see what i want no one else to see and i cant pick up anything hes puttin down D: !!!! hahaha i have like ... nothing ... i dont know when he hints cause somtimes im justnot all there he tends to dazzle me :3
like in first block b day friday :3 when the bell ring and we had to go we were hugging near the mini fridge and he lifted my thigh up around his and set me on the counter to hug him better (since im fairly shorter than him [to give you a mental picture i have to get on my verry tippy tippy tippy toes to see over his shoulder in a hug with my arms around his neck] hah yea im shorter than him xD) but it was so nice and my heart nearly flew out of my chest at his touch XD XD XD hahah sigh* he makes me so happy and when im not able to talk to him im so depressed :( :( :C grrr .... sigh* anywayssss
i havent started doinf my french hw *highfive* hahaha i just decided to reread one of my altime favorite series for which i will leave nameless because it could offend some people :)
OKKKKK guess what i ust realized :3 everyone in my family uses the plural form of you as you ... but i say "yall" hahahaha im soooo weird i even type like that too haha i say yall instead of you(pl.)
so apparently i have a "face" like ... when i want something or things dont go my way i get this puppy dog eyed sad look on my face and somtimes i dont even know im doing it XD !!! like when blankie had to go his brother was there to pick him up after school and we were saying goodbye (im a little clingy so i didnt wanna let go of the hug) but blankie over powered me and walked away.. midstride he looked back and i was just sitting watching him go sorta bummed at having to say goodbye he lemme hug him goodbye just once more :3 it was so sweet and i nearly died hugging him the second time :3 i promise that kids gonna gimme a heart attack XD XD XD XD

p.s. im sorry i talk about blankie so much its just when im not with him im anxious and i hate being away .. when im with him im more normalishhhhh

And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

When in doubt .... google for it is all knowing

Mood: eh ...

Current Song:  When she cries - Brit Nicole

So when blankie left today he didnt say bye ... dont know if i should be worried .. prolly not ... guess thats ok :) sides i wore a beanie today and stole blankies glasses and a few people told me that i look nice in glasses. which made me happy seeing as i dont really :3 hahaha summs didnt talk to me much today :P but baya and dian stayed with me when i couldnt get my locker to work which made me happy that i wasnt alone :3. hahaha i got some candy after school and i like french this year i didnt understand the indirect and direct objects but kinny helped me with them and i THINK that i understand .. you have to realize french is a totally DIFFERENT language for meh hah. we're watching a movie on Loui the 14th ?? i think and i have to translate a whole sheet ... gr so yeasups. i love multimedia design hahaha i have pup, dian, and blankie to accompany :3. i hate PE :P but i managed to live through my shuttle run dispite the fact that i triped twice XP.  computer networking is SUPER hard .. im gonna need like a study buddy in there cause i didnt take computer science last year :/  i ate at lunch today :) but only for ninbuds birthday im mad at myself cause i left her gift on my bed at home :( !!!!! but ill give it to her tomorrow :) :) :)  hahaha 

i still feel guilty whenever im around blankie ... but i cant help that ... (stupid conscience) i made him late for class :3 i was late as well .. i didnt wanna go XD haha i hope i dont get on his nerves when i do that ... like .. that would suck if i did u.u

i had a weird dream that he was in ... like super weird hahaha ill tell him about it hahaha since he was the main person in my dream and i only know of on part in my dream the part that he was in ...... i cant member much else :3

POEM OF THE DAY !!!!!!

(TITLE:

LOVE)

Ricky was "L" but hes home with the flu

Lizzy our "O" has some homework to do

Mitchell "E" probably got lost on the way

So im all the love that could make it today :3

And remember love is jsut a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella 

my iq??? yea ... its poptart

Mood: sigh* conscience .. go die :P

Current song: Captains and Cruise ships - Owl city

so .. got my phone taken away ... "low grades" i only have 5 c's 2 a's and 1 b ... not all that bad and i cant go to my friends 16th bday thing even though shes been planning it for like EVERRRR :( !!! so unfair but whatever i guess :) hahaha  i miss blankie :3 but i feel guilty whenever i see him :(  ah well ... sigh* ... i hate my conscience ... its always making me sad :( someone said i was pretty today :D !!! people dont know how much that makes me happy somtimes ... only when its people i dont know it when it makes me happy :3 when i know you ... im not gonna believe you .. cause friends are biased :P
school is so dramatic .. but dispite it all id rather live at school i hate coming home where im critisized and chatized about eveything u.u not fun guys not fun :P hahaha and how everyone thinks im a horrible person .. im not but thats just home .. i always like the days when we can wake up and it be a REALLY good day ... when my moms drinkin coffee in the rockin chair in the livin room and i get to sleep in and eat a big breakfast and we sit together in the living room and watch the sun rays on the floor ... its peaceful and when my sister snoozes away while i sit :) cause shes dreaming and its happy .. i miss those days i wish i could have like those all the time  :/ 
WINTERS ALMOST HERE !!!!! XD i love winter SOOOOOOOOO much :3 hahaha like a whole lot :3 i love the cold i like the red noses from cold i like the shivers i like the beanies i like the jackets i like the constant IM COLD CAN WE TURN ON THE HEAT ?!?!?! haha i like the cocoa :3 so nummmm :3


And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

I remember this movie in 2nd grade that i was obsessed with XD uhmmm ... it was called "spirit"

Mood: Excitedly tired

Current Song: Hospital - Lydia

Broke my phone case today :/ oh well :D :D :D haha me and blankie were together all day and we were both really sad ... he was sad because he thinks he hurts me al the time and it doesny help that its true :( im so fragile :P it sucks. hes too strong XD but its all ok :) hahaha sigh* i wish he werent so sad all the time .. i wish i could help :3 oh well :) i made up all the tests that i missed thursday when i was in ISS :) cept for the math one. that one i have to make up on the 15th of next month XP but it gives me time to study so YAYYYY :D 

i like blankie 100% now ... i got over summs ... hes just my friend always will be :) 

And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

Dear Blankie,

Mood: i wish i could just fly to the sun on my rocket ship and burn on the way ...

Current Song: Damaged People - depeche mode

                  I am sorry for everything ive put you through. You tell me that i'm amazing, and that you dont deserve me. Yet you dont see everything that i am ... i love you i do i honestly love you :3 forever that will remain. but ... blankie .. i also have feelings for summs ... Do you ever wonder why i push you away at random times and dont let you hug me? Its when we're around summs. I hate making him feel bad. He probably doesnt even have any feelings for me which would be GREAT. but that is the reason. ill hug you anytiem anyplace if summs isnt around at all. if summs is around though .. i will constantly push you away while pulling you back to stay ... conflicting emotions rage inside of me and i cant seem to stay sane for long. im going to lose it and when i do i want to know who'll catch me when i fall. I LOVE YOU BLANKIE. i have small feelings for summs they dont compare to how i feel for you ... but they are there. :) dont worry blankie ill never leave you. EVER. but ... i wont be there 100% .. since 7% of me wants summs ... so you can have all 93% of me ... im sorry thats all i can offer at the moment. you dont know how this rips me apart on the inside. i dont think your mind could wrap itself aroundthe kidn of TURMOIL this had inflicted on me. You always say you dont wanna hurt me which is so kind. but blankie i hate to tell you the truth, but you and summs are the main people that do hurt me and i dont know how i can save myself from you when all i really want .... is you

And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

I'll stop this pretending that i can somehow deserve what i already have ...

And yet they dont see what they are doing to me ....

Mood: Bummed Out

Current Song: Broken Man - Boys like Girls

I made a shocking discovery today. One that changes alot of things for me ... 

I walked outside trying to focus on hugging blankie (i hadnt seen him all day :( ) I was braced i saw blankie he was in clear view i could run into his arms and everything would be magnificent id thought about it all afternoon it was gonna be magical ... but then i saw summs right acrose from him in his own click own group of friends and i couldnt decide who to hug first .. summs or blankie ... and the only reason this troubles me is because now i see. i will ALWAYS choose summs over blankie ... always. and i still love blankie i love blankie and will stay with blankie for forever ... but summs is my best friend and i will always choose him ... and this wouldnt be bad if i didnt love summs too ... i love summs .... but i love blankie more and i chose summs over blankie and its killing me inside ... i cant deal with this i just .. i cant believe that i chose summs ...

I will choose blankie first for everything .. but if summs needs me i will choose him ... and it just kills my heart to know that blankie would choose me first but i dont return the favor .. id choose summs im torn to be right where blankie is and to be summs friend as well :( 

Sad thing is they both dont know what theyre doing to me :(

They still think im a happy go lucky person and i am .. when they arent in the same room together :( or in close proximity ... 

because sadly .. id choose summs ....

And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

I MAKE ..... LIKE STUFF EXPLODE !

Mood: so nice

Current song: Be myself - linkin park

This is a really cool video .. like seriously just click and listen oh yea and when you listen youll realize how funny this next statement is

DEFINITELY BEAUTIFUL DEFINITELY BEAUTIFUL

DE - FINITE-LY
BE-A-U-TIFUL


And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

Rock, paper, are you kiddin me?!

Mood-mad at the fact that i got in trouble happy because of the reason why :3

Current Song- All time lows - Hello goodbye

I liked PE today i got to spend it with blankie :3. i loved being with him. me and summs hugged a bunch today as well :D!!!

the only reason that i hate today is cause i got inhouse (ISS [in school suspention]) ... its all cause i sat in blankies lap FOR LIKE 2 SECONDS !!!!!!!!! so i think i have it thursday ... which sucks cause i have like 2 tests that day -.- aughhh :| i dislike our principle for that but its all good :) i just wont do it ever again :)

i felt dumb when i got home cause i looked for my cellular device for about 10 minutes even though it was in my hand hahaha i forgot it was there hahaha :3

Today we took the graduation exam for biology, it was tedious and a little hard but not really only a little hard when i couldnt remember stuff from last year haha (im in 10th grade) someone said they didnt like my hoodie today cause it had auburn on it .. i had to clarify that i was only wearing it cause i was cold haha i dont care enough about football to get caught up in all that jazz

idk why i just thought of this but .. i dont like chest hair on guys like at all its so icky haha DID YOU KNOW !!! that ghandi had a chest hair issue .... i mean its not like totally disgusting its just .. weird .. to have hair on your chest i mean ?!?! what wow anyways hah :3

And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

the most important thing youll ever lay your eyes on!!!

Mood: OMG OMG OMG OMG

Current Song: Love you madly - Cake

it is my mommy's birfday you guysssss !!!!
SHES SO OOOLLLLDDD (jk jk jk jk) hahahaha

HAPPY BIRFSDAY MOMMY !!!!!

ssooooo guess what ..

THIS IS YOUR BIRFDAY SONG IT ISNT VERY LONG HEY !

I LOVES MY MOMMMMYYY

how old are you mommy ?

make a wish .....

-LOVE YOUR ABUSED DAUGHTER hahahahaa

And remember life is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

JEEPERS !!!

Mood- Guilty/but oh so happy

Current song- I wouldnt mind - he is we

For a girl who hates mondays ... today was a really good day :3. i was late to first block, but it was all coolio when i sub happened to be about an hour late for our class XD !!! (for those of you who dont know block scheduled classes run for about 95 minutes [roughly an hour and a half]) so yea our sub was late :3 i saw my good friend sash (new person) and saw blankie :3
so first block was coolio like that :D ! then in homroom (lasts about 10 minutes) i hugged baya :) hes a fun hugger and i hugged my dian :3.


SIDENOTE:
What i didnt tell you was that me and summs havent been talking lately he was mad at me :( but we just made up we are now speeking to one another and its like it never happened :D ! were inceperable now :3 and im happy that our feud has been resolved ...


. Today in second block i didnt pay attention AT ALLLLL hhahaha i started drawing :3 and playign with a light that changed colours C: sooooo coolio around 3rd block i got like alot of energy and just bouncing off the walls me and blankie got to sit together today C: didnt get much work done hahaha and i got baya to sit across from meeee :3 i hugged baya alot !!!!
i hate 4th block -.- im like ... omg ... im gonna name our teacher for that class hoof mmk?
so ms.hoof sends me to the hall cause i was "talking in class" ... i wasnt talking ... someone else was talking to me and i was actually paying attention ahahaha

butttt it was all good :3 i hugged my autistic arick :3

i hate how my mom doesnt think ithat i should have "male" friends .... i mean come on if you really wanted to enforce that rule you would have sent me to a convent .. i mean really i got yelled at for hugging my friends BYE !!! -.- its not like were doing married peoples stuff i mean gosssshhhh hahaha but oh well haha and hen i dont even wear like truly revealing clothes .. just normal graphic tees and jeans and jackets :)


you know what i want ... i want a donut that would make my whole day 100% AMAZING now its just ... 92% hahaha

And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

peeps: i like the yellow ones

Mood: Anxiously happy

Current song: Ticking bombs : eyes set to kill

there is a new person in "my main squeaze" column!!!!!

for those of you who are new to my blog, "my main squeaze" are all the people that you will hear about regularly on my blog. It will be updated often seeing as somtimes i forget to mention it in the beginning. check for new people every friday. :)

Since this is my first update for new people look for Baya he is the newest person. This is the first and last hint i will give you for whenever i add new people. I will most likely say that ive added a new person in a post if i have but you have to find out who the "new person" is. sorta like a challenge to see whos paying attention :D.

And remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

I take french !

Mood: Calm for the first time in a while

Current song: Dental care - Owl city

I hate when i dont know how to help people :(! my friend summs was dating livv ... they dated for about a week or 2. i jsut found out they they broke up. its sad and i know i should be sorry for him but really? im happy... and i feel bad for being happy that hes not with livv. livv tends to go after the guys ive mentally claimed i knew she would go after summs. anyways yea... my mommy shes amazurn !!! she loves me bunches and i love her like OMG i lubs my mommy !!! :)

And because i love her so i shall answer her request for details:

Once upon a time in 9th grade i had a friend named Dian. She was going out with kinny. Kinny is my friend because of her, and its wonderful kinny is so coolio!! he and her went out for a while always breaking up and getting back together :) Kinny loved dian, she loved him too. it just didnt work out :( she also liked someone else (she is now trying to get over him HIGHFIVE) kinny had no idea of her likeness for this other young lad. until someone told him behind dians back >:( (rude right?!?!?!) that made everything go downhill from there it was sad :( ! (i was in the middle of all of this through everything .. i was like the 3 year old when the parent are divorcing yea that horrible) they arent seeing each other anymore ... but they are still friends which is amazing :D i kept secrets for each of them ... whenever kinny needed to vent or get something off his chest i would soak it up like a sponge not telling anyone .. same goes for dian i didnt tell a soul (and i wont on here either) since i was both of there friends it was really hard to keep everything bottled up (but i managed)
now they are in 10th grade still friends dian is going out with someone we will call boei cause hes a new person... kinny isnt seeing anyone hes ridin solo ;D haha they are both semi happy which is good because theyve gone through ALOT.

That is it basically for story time :)

My friend zorc yea she is beautiful :3. haha idk if she knows this but, she helped me through alot 9th grade year... thanks to her im not insane (YES I AM) really i feel normal (IM A SPECIAL CASE) :D haha i love zorc haha shes gots billions of friends and is really loving shes so cutteeeee hahaha and small and huggable !!

Back to my main reason for this post... i hate when i cant make people happy :( when i cant make them feel anybetter you know? when im not what they need and what they need i cant give them :/. it makes me feel useless. i wish i could make everyone happy, thats all i really wanna do in life... make people happy :) its the only im really good at haha making people smile and happy and nice again taking away the sorrow is what i strive to do in everyones life and i hate when my plans are foiled hahaha :)

(btw i do take requests ask me questions and i will answer ask for details and i shall elaborate)

PEACE OUT GUYS !!! (holds up 3 fingers!!!)

and remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

JUST CALL ME POPTART!

Mood: PRETTY HAPPY :D

Current song: Jump then fall - taylor swift
(i dont listen to her often .. but tonight yes)

Hi, my names annabella it means easy to love. Some people disagree, im not the easiest person to love. I'm really hyper all the time, i love to hug . I am incredibly clumsy, i am short and feeble and small and skinny. I am always happy, i have lots of friends and i tend to get on peopls nerves when im happy all the stinkin time :D! Im not the brightest 100 volt bulb in the box ... but i am a really really colourful crayon !!!!! I am a pretty intense person to be around :). i tend to get hurt ... ALOT. its like a full time job just to keep me alive. I dont eat that much, i dont like food. im caring, and smiley and loving and nice and i love everything. People tell me that im pretty, i find it hard to believe seeing as no one really told me until 8th grade ...
I am in 10th grade, i go to a really smart nerd school which will be known as GRAVV. cause i like grass :3.

• mondays - a days
• tuesday - b day
• wednesday - it changes every week if its an a week its an a day if its a b week its a b day
• thursday - a days
• friday- b days

A days are starting to get harder now that were actually starting to do work. Bdays are fun except this is the year that i have PE and i hate PE. PE wasn't made for people like me. The kinda people that arent athletic and cant run or do anything physical at all. im far to frail to do everything they want me to. I'm in the computer strand. :D i love all the stuff we get to do im in networking this year. i didnt do computer science last year i was in medical. IT WAS WAY TO GORY :P EEWWW. just nasty.
You're going to hear alot about my friend dian, i help her through alot. You'll also hear alot about blankie and summs. they are the guys that i love. blankie is the person i like. summs is my bestest guy friend in the whole wide world .>My mommy moved away from me but we still text each other ALOT! Jelli and Dian are my "daughters" i have 6 children...

1. Dian
2. Jelli
3. Twist (she twirls her hair alot)
4. Larc (he was my first baby boy .. doesnt go to our school anymore :( )
5. newt (he is my second baby boy hes a year older than i and he has a twin brother but hes not a part of my famillyyy)
6. Sames (shes got the exact same eyes as me, shes super pretty :) and tall and lovely)

i married pup 5 times sand divorced him as well. blankie is technically my brother but who cares hahaha. i had several "affairs" hahaha my mom has like 3 kids me, blankie, and sees.

Gravvv is full of drama ... its unfair how much i get pulled into the drama but its all ok in the end .. i hope.

and always remember love is just a serial killer and we are all innocent victims - Annabella

i already know that no one reads my blog but.....

i think im gonna shake this blog up a bit ... maybe just explain my high school life so far instead of telling you how to live through yours ? yea ... seems like a plan STAN! :D haha
yeahups !!! haha mmk this is how im gonna change it

• im going to talk about friends that are a part of my life using fake names of course
• im going to make a new entry every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday if i happen to on the weekends then BONUUSSSS
• in every post i will have a "mood" and "current song" the mood will be how i feel about everything thats happened that day the "current song" will be what song portrays everything so far or helps me through whatever im doing :)
• i will post pictures on my bonus posts

i hope you like the new arrangements they'll take affect on sunday or monday :)

suger honey iced tea

high school is full of drama. I dont care if youdont think it is. IT IS! i know you probabaly think. "hey, i dont start drama, i just help my friendwhenever she/he needs it!" youre wrong too. you are in the drama just as much as the person you are helping. Youve probably contributed more to this drama fest than the other person. most people dont realllyy need your help. theyjsut want soem attention really and now your probably thinking "IDONT FISH FOR ATTENTION EITHER!!!" well thats a lieeee !!!! you know exactly what youre doing.how can you even stand there and say that with a straight face? you know exactly how everything your doing is affecting someone. to how you wear your hair or your clothes to how you say hello. even then way you present yourself you know in the back of your mind , everything that is going on. so drama. its everywhere quite literally. "high school is different for everyone im sure youll find your way around" that is a lie as well ... high school is the same FOR EVERYONE ! the emo chick in the corner yea i know shes/hes listenen to death metal or somthing of the sort but she/he is prolly crushin on someone jsut like you, or maybe she/he has bad grades and has parents at home telling how they should change?! evert think of that? or how the "popular girls/guys" never have anything to worry about?! thats wrong .. they have jsut as much to worry about as you its proly not the same fully but boy oh boy if you stopped to actually see what happens .. youd be shocked ... high school is just one huge play ground and im sorry kiddies but the wind is gonna come and sands gonna get in your eyes ... but dont worry the wind will also blow away the tears and wipe away the sorrow

fluorescent lighting has always been my favorite

alright heres another thing. if you are going to talk about me behind my back, maybe you should try doing it more ninja like. Im not stupid i know wen people are talkin about me, and no i dont want you to tell me to my face but it doesnt help the situation if u make yourself known. thats just rude.

and instead of concentrating on the negative parts of me why not just focus on the good like how i can make you smile or how awkward i am that no one sees all the problems your hiding. Or how you could really not get sumthing i do sumthin retarded and no one sees how stupid u look while im all retarded in the corner diverting there attention so that you may hide, so you don’t have to explain it anyone …. hahaha .. XD good times ... so yea .. dont concentrate on the bad in me and focus on the good, you'd find out that i am actually a big help sumtimes. or maybe im just annoying and oblivious to how cruel the real world is idk but just yea ...

ill always be just so invitng

sorry .. i love every ones suggestions. and i would love for u to keep critiquing me but thats just how my mind works after someone has told me what to do. I dont take direction well... i dont think.

like if the directions say " only glue the left side" ill probably look at what im doing and say but the right side would save so much time !!! .. then ill glue the right side and look back at the intructions dubiously and then feel stupid cuz i should have glued the left side ..... hahaha direction issues ...

i can feel the pressure

Alright heres sumthing else. I hate when people try to change my decision. The decision ive already made. If ive already chosen to where a yellow shirt today then i dont want you to come to me and say "hey you should wear a purple shirt" if i say "no" then dont go "but a purple shirt would look so much better" IVE ALREADY SAID NO !!!!!!! gosh ... sorry i mean i love your suggestions but really ... if i wanted your opinion i most likely would have asked .... and if i didnt want it i WOULDNT HAVE ASKED !!!!

i feel like i dont know you

Its like a love at first sight thing. Basically my mind chooses possibles but my heart goes the opposite direction than i want it too (stupid heart :P) so all the good possibilities that i could have chosen i had to go and choose a stupid awkward kid. I will most likely go in and out from the likeness i have for him but i havent pronounced it. If your going to say your together with sumone it better be true and real or watever u want to call it because no one likes when you love them but dont love them ... its frustrating.

Yea its long, and if you read it it wont seem so bad only one paragraph dont have a cow

i think relationships are hilariously serious. When you "get together" with sumone, its not like your really going to be together for that long, its really more like an experiment to see if you are compatible with that sort of person. Maybe it is just me but i dont like how that works. If i were to "get together" with sumone i wouldnt even want it to be labeled that way, its horrendous, i am a perfectionist, getting sumthing right the first time is how i roll. If i dont get it right the first time i might try one more time but other wise ive lost interest in it. So im not pro boyfriend/girlfriend labeling its not very structured. I really think that if your going to love or even like someone you should be true to that and not change it up, for instance "breaking up". Those to words hold alot of sorrow and pain and if i were to get into a relationship id rather mine be a true love type of thing because i dont think my little heart could take it.

one year closer to death i suppose

i just felt like typing. There are so many made up conversations in my head and they all have there good reactions and there bad. I tried to see every side of the conversation before i can actually talk about it ... creepy right. I hate how i do that. I can't ever tell any one anything because of those reasons. I'll think it through so much that i get scared and then im afraid to even bring it up.

i know its not valentines day any more .. but i would love it if youd be
mine ...

My hands hold safly to my dreams

Clutching tightly not one has fallen

So many years I've shaped each one

Reflecting my heart showing who I am

Now you're asking me to show

What I'm holding oh so tightly

Can't open my hands can't let go

Does it matter?

Should I show you?

Can't you let me go?

... self explanitory ...

I waited for you today

But you didn't show

No no no

I needed You today

So where did You go?

You told me to call

Said You'd be there

And though I haven't seen You

Are You still there?

Today i was reading mlia ans saw that some one had changed their mouse to be a dinosuar to eat there desktop backgruond. i just changed my pointer to a blue dinosuar :D i feel my life is now complete :D :D :D :D